I have not been very active these last weeks, have not posted anything nor read and commented much – my apologies. 2013 has not been very kind to me so far: I lost my job and at my age it is highly unlikely that any prospective employer will receive me open armed!
My biggest worry is Chica though, faithful companion for more than 13 years whose health is failing: she keeps me awake most nights and when she finally falls asleep I am wide awake (probably also due to too much coffee consumption). I walk through my days like a zombie and do little else than broadcasting online.
Infatuated with water early on
Chica is a mixture of 75 % Labrador and 25 % Weimaraner, can you believe nobody wanted her as she was born with a tiny tail? Good luck for us!
She has all the good and bad qualities of each race: she is a vacuum cleaner and dustbin recycler, she loves water and can endlessly retrieve sticks, she climbs nearly vertical walls and gave me quite a fright when she did it the first time and suddenly appeared high above ground and looked down at me.
She has had an ongoing affair with sticks
She has grown into quite some lady
What a poser and in control of everything: this picture was taken in Tuscany
She has grown from a calm puppy into a patient dog, never demanding always grateful. She has been a joy for our family and friends, accompanying us on all our holidays to Southern Tuscany and elsewhere.
The last months have seen us on uncountable visits to the vet, trying to find the right medication for her pains and dementia. But even the vet is not too sure about a diagnosis: is it her heart or is it her messed up brains? We are now on a new pill for her heart (beta blocker) – keep your fingers crossed that it will work. It has been a roller coaster ride: high up when some medication seemed to work and a hell ride when she would incessantly bump into open doors at nights, never stopping panting and having a machine gun heartbeat. And the ever lingering question: am I doing the right thing subjecting her to all those therapies or should I be taking the final decision?
It is not healthy when those issues take upper hand in one’s life and spin a finely woven web in your head and heart.
Being creative (writing, cooking, gardening, crafting) is essential to my wellbeing and life. As Oscar Wilde said: “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.“ And feeling paralyzed for the last three months has been hell and a deadly spinning spiral.
My February resolution: this has to stop and I’d be most grateful for a kick in the butt. Yes, I realize I am the one to deliver the blow.
I will start with some changes to my blog: as you know my first language is German (actually it is Swiss German and we Swiss consider German our second language) and from now on Late Bloomers will be a blog in English and German (different posts in different languages). Bear with me if at the beginning you will receive both versions (you are all subscribed to Late Bloomers, are you not?), with some professional help of Kittie Walker I hope to have it sorted out soon and will introduce different subscription feeds. Unless, of course, you want to improve your German?
Today is Ash Wednesday, for some Lent starts today with 40 days of lean and introspective living.
I have decided to do it the other way round and start living a full life today!
Comments 36
I’m kicking you in the butt, with much love and support:) I’m sorry to hear about Chica, and I’m keeping fingers crossed. We’ve spoken about this time of transition for you, and I could not be happier for you for writing that last sentence: START TODAY…live the full life that you were born to live, my friend. From your kick-in-the-butt friend, reine du printemps xo
@KDillabough Ah, Kaarina, thank you and I will make sure to wear extra padded trousers when we go travelling! I wish I could have shortened that period of inertia and paralysis, but who knows what it has been good for? And next time I will make sure to remember it!
It has been snowing on and off the last weeks here, I wonder how much snow you have now? One of my friends was not able to go home last week (she lives in the Berner Oberland, a region around Interlaken) as 3 m of freshly fallen snow covered the house door! Insane, is it not?
Looking forward to spring and Fasnacht coming up next week!
Thank you, my friend! xo
@Late_Bloomers Keep moving in the direction of your dreams:) We have LOTS of snow, and this morning I was blessed with dozens of cardinals in my gardens. I was able to capture a few photos and posted them on my facebook wall. Perhaps you’ll wander by to see them: they will lift your spirits. xo
@KDillabough They are so beautiful! I wonder why they turned up in your garden, are they eating any berries left on the trees? Because we get this phenomena each year in February when green finches will descend in thousands and be gone within hours again. Unsavoury detail: last year I had my car parked beneath said tree and they relieved themselves generously all over my car. Problem II: we had a frost period, with temperatures around – 10°C for weeks and my car was covered in it for weeks …
@Late_Bloomers Yikes! Those kinds of gifts from the birdies are not the kind we enjoy:) Yes, the cardinals seemed to be feasting on seeds on my shrubs, but mainly they just looked like they were having a party. Cheers! Kaarina
Our pets are part of our family. Good for you that you care so much for Chica. You are an awesome person simply because you take good care of her.
Best of luck in you hunt for work.
I look forward to reading some German. I might get some skill back that I haven’t had in many, many years. Cheers!
@rdopping Hi, Ralph, lovely to see you and it is about time I came over to your place to have a look in that fridge again!
And you are so right about pets, they are family. And from now on I will be grateful for what she has given so generously and still continues to.
Re job hunt: Dein Wort in Gottes Ohren (as we say in German whether we believe or not)!
Cheers and thanks for coming by!
Hi Barbara! Such beautiful photos of Chica! What a regal creature!
I love the way your thoughts are going on this: As Oscar Wilde said: “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.“ “I have decided to do it the other way round and start living a full life today!” What else is there to do?
I can’t wait to see your German blog! Hopefully the translation option is a good one. I want to hear what you say when you say it with your native tongue. It’s different, right?
See you at the Hangout today!!1
Lori
@Lori
Hi Lori!
Whenever I look at Chica’s pictures whole stories unfold and I sit here with a silly grin on my face. This is the way to do it, is it not?
I think the translation options are quite awful but better than nothing, right? And you can always ask me (some friends say I am a walking dictionary and encyclopedia) … Mind you, German is not my native tongue but Swiss German is practically only a spoken language these days. You will be the judge!
See you later at the Hangout!
What a beautiful dog – I am sorry to hear that she is struggling and that it is taking its toll on you as well. I pray that you will know what the right decision is when the time comes – hugs. The employment situation hangs like a spectre over all of us – jobs are being lost every day in London and none of us are getting any younger. These are scary times to be living in and I can understand why you are not in a mood to be sociable online. Here’s hoping the new blog project will provide the butt-kick that you need to move forward 😉 xx
@Cooksister Hi, Jeanne, thank you so much for your lovely message. I wonder why I did not speak out before – sharing is really halving the burden. I feel tons lighter today than in the weeks before. I always try to keep my blog sorrow free but there is really no such thing, is there? And how could we measure if we did not have the two poles or tried to blend out the “negative” experiences such as accompanying an old dog and also appreciate the benefits of it? Chica is calmly sleeping beside me and I will take her out for another snow walk later. She will eat tons of it and have a heyday!
I am so sorry for Chica and and wish you and her all the best. Pets become part of the family. I hope that, in time, everything will fall into place! Hugs from London!
@JSJ2020 Oh, Muriel, thank you so much. While I am writing she is still lying next to me not only sleeping but also perfuming the air with bodily emissions bringing in some other level of reality! This has also to do with things falling into place, no? Hugs from a very cold and snowy Basel!
I so feel your worry and sadness…we lost 2 of our 3 dogs in the past 18 months…very hard. Enjoy every day you have…
@BruceSallan Hi, Bruce, I am sorry for your loss, this is really sad, they are so dear to us. Yes, I will enjoy each day with Chica and live in the moment. Thank you so much for your empathy.
So sorry for all your stresses, Barbara. My fingers are crossed for Chica. Don’t give up on being employed and in the mean time, do what you love. xox
@sweepyjean Good morning, Adrienne! Thank you so much, Chica seems better since we have started the heart medication and leave out the psycho pills, she has a clearer look in her eyes whereas before she seemed out of touch and lost in her own world. Hard to do what you love when your brain is in a fog and your energy level below zero. But I know what you mean and reaching out has helped so much. I will try to remember this. XOXO
I am so sorry to hear your news – I am sending BIG HUGS! We had to make the tough decision with our Boxer, I cried and cried for ages. I am looking forward to your German posts, maybe my German will improve 😉
@tandysinclair Oh, you had a Boxer, so sorry for your loss, Tandy. We used to have Boxers, gentle creatures with huge hearts and slobbering mouths! Thank you so much for your hugs and lovely message, this means such a lot to me, I feel comforted and not alone in my sadness any more. Speaking with my family is not the same as we are all sad and concerned for different reasons.
You do speak German, great, happy if I can add anything to improve your language skills!
Thank you again, you make me feel so much lighter! Big hugs, Barbara
Sorry to hear about he news but excited for you that you are “living a full life today” – be blessed for you are a blessing to many!
@MarketingChef Hi, Andrew, thank you so much for your lovely and uplifting words.
It is so important to keep a balance and when the pendulum swings to one extreme not to forget that it will also swing back again.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Hugs, Barbara. I know what you are going through. My prayers and love to Chica for the beta blocker to work.
Glad you made the resolve to life a full life starting today. Love you and thinking of you. Bear hugs!
@Vidya Sury Dear, dear Vidya – thank you so much! Chica seems so much better and today this became evident when we went out for a walk in the snow and she approached other dogs, in the last weeks no such communication between dogs, she seemed so withdrawn in her own small world.
And probably I did the same, withdrawing into my snail house. But NO MORE! I have just published my first post in German, it is a typical Fasnacht recipe, something we only eat around this time of the year. We will see where this journey will take me. Next week we will celebrate Fasnacht from Monday to Wednesday and I will actively take part in it, playing the piccolo. Very much looking forward to it, it is a great custom with about 20’000 active participants and so many people I only see on that occasion. I will post pictures!
Big big bear hugs, my lovely friend!
My heart breaks for you Barbara. I can just imagine what you are going through as I’ve kinda been there, and expect to go through it again. If only our pets could live as long as ourselves.
@JanineRipper Thank you so much, Janine, yes, if only they could share our lives forever. Where have those 13 years gone, I still remember Chica as a puppy when she was not able to drink out of her bowl and used it as a bathtub.
Have a wonderful week, any special plans? We are celebrating Fasnacht (carnival) – three days and nights of costumes, mask and music.
Just want you to know; I’m thinking of you and Chica, and wishing you a fun-filled Fasnacht
@KDillabough Kaarina, dear friend! How lovely of you – thank you so much. Chica is responding well to the beta blockers and I have quiet nights again, if it were not for Fasnacht!
It started this morning at 4 am, we have glorious weather today, I posted some pics on Instagram http://instagram.com/latebloomrs and we are out again! Have a great week!
@Late_Bloomers Enjoy:) fabulous photos! And if you get back and feel like #TeamBlogJack, I put out a rallying cry for here http://bit.ly/UzCYPW as Brian Meeks is not well, and I’m calling for a cheering crowd:)
@KDillabough I hope Brian survived the #TeamBlogJack, what wonderful “recipes” are to be found there!
Today is the last day of Fasnacht, I woke up to grey skies and rain, why could the bad weather not wait for another day? What a shame for all the lovely costumes, masks and lanterns which will be shown again in the cortège (parade) this afternoon.
And Thursday everything will be back to normal, well, maybe with a slight hangover … !
Oh Barbara….what a touching post. Thank you for opening your heart to us and thank you for sharing Chica. What a journey you are on right now…I’m sorry for the painful parts of the trek and I wish for you many roads that lead you to peace and joy. I love your commitment to living a full life today….I am right there with you. I hope that Chica is doing much better and that you are seeing possibilities in life that excite you!
xoxoxo
Claudia
@SocialMediaDDS Dear Claudia, yes, what a journey … I know we all live on “gifted” time, if only I can make Chica’s life more livable and drive away the fog in her head. It seems like her heart problem was caused by the year long thyroid therapy, if only I had known …
You know the hardest thing for me is to see other colours when in a crisis, it is only black or shades of grey (no analogy intended!).
Thank you so much for your lovely and comforting words. I always see you surrounded by all your animals and the beautiful landscape you live in!
xoxo Barbara
I sympathize with you Barbara…this year has not started out very well for me either and has been something of a roller coaster. I hope the job hunt goes well for you. And I hope you and your beloved Chica find your way through this dilemma. We have two Labs we adore who are both ten years old now (how time has flown!) and I dread the day they are no longer with us…
@Cathy Tittle Thank you so much, Cathy, for your lovely message. I wonder what is wrong with our times, so many friends go through hard times and sometimes the balance tips in the wrong direction …
Chica seems to be doing much better with the new medication but I am not deluding myself and cherish each day. That is all we can and should do, is it not? Chase some rabbits with our dogs!
I hope for all of us that spring will bring not only nicer temperatures but also opportunities!
Hi Barbara,
It has been a year of changes for many of us so I empathize with what you have shared. Dogs are part of the family and it is never easy to see family members go through challenges.
I hope things settle down for you soon and that they smooth over as quickly as possible.
@Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes Hi Josh, Thanks so much, I have just read your Bonanza post and can relate to it so much. One for all and all for one!
I also hope to be able to take one thing after the other and not throw everything into one bowl and be overwhelmed by the mess it creates!
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