Do You Know Who You Are?
And she kindly invites us to write a post about this question as an exercise to community building. I recommend you head over to her porch afterwards.
Who am I?
Outwardly I see the shell: a woman, an ex-wife and a mother of a beautiful daughter. I am Swiss born and I live in Basel, Switzerland.
I cherish sunny days and feel energized by them, I live in the wrong country.
I have lived in towns all my life but secretly I yearn for a rural place, fulfilling my needs to be close to nature.
My professional background is marketing, I have worked in sales and purchasing and for some years I have had my own company in EDP project management.
I love cooking and making up my own recipes, I love wine and wine tastings, I love travelling, especially to Italy and Asia. When I travel I prefer to absorb my new surroundings by sitting in a roadside café and watching the world go by. I take pictures wherever I go.
I grow my own herbs and some vegetables, on summer mornings I will grab a cup of coffee and say hallo to my green children welcoming the new day.
My best sense is my olfactory one: I am composing my own fragrances from essential oils and use them in organic soy wax candles, soaps and diffusers.
I have a talent for languages, organising events and getting people together.
I have a penchant for luxury items: clothes, shoes, cars, housing, restaurants and hotels.
I am getting older but I refuse to let my inner child go.
Inside I see lots of contradictions: I think a lot about life, my life, I am an introspective person with a very exalted extroverted behaviour.
I have difficulties saying NO and tend to neglect myself in order to satisfy other people’s needs. I am learning though and I refuse to be treated like a dustbin for everybody’s woes.
I am not very good with confrontations or conflicts, my astrological sign is Cancer if you give anything by this. On the other hand I am a Leo by my ascendant, wonder when it will finally kick in.
I deeply care for my family, friends and my dog, I love to spend time with them but I also cherish solitude.
I have hundreds of ideas and dreams, some of them are very unrealistic but I want to publish a book before I turn 100.
I have come away bruised and scarred from past relationships and I shy from establishing a new one. It has also turned me into a empathetic person, for this I am grateful.
I tend to get upset and preoccupied with family issues, ignoring my inner voice that tells me to look after myself more and stop sacrificing.
I try to live in the present, learn from the past and not to worry too much about the future.
PS. I needed this because I am in the middle of family turmoils and this exercise has helped me to gain insight and will hopefully show me the right direction. Thanks, Lori.
What a lovely, brave and honest post @Late_Bloomers ! Thank you for trusting your community and sharing so openly. While I have never had the pleasure of meeting you in person (that will change one day), I feel as though I have known you for much of my life. Isn't that odd? Let me add that you are loving and kind and generous. These are the gifts that are the result of a life well lived and well heeded.
I was thinking about you and I wanted to share that I have been "reading" (I put quotes around the word because I actually fill my long commute times....3 hours/day...with audible books so I am actually listening) to wonderful books on mindfulness and meditation. The two that have given me great joy are "10% Happier: How I Tame the Voice in my Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge and Found Self-Help That Actually Works- A True Story" by Dan Harris...(humorous, insightful and inspiring) and "Buddhism for Beginners" by Jack Kornfield (thought provoking and inspiring). You may (or may not ;-) ) find some peace in reading these books.
Thank you again for being so open and honest!
Love being sent your way....
Hoping your family, and you, are getting better and you are all healing from turmoils well.
I loved reading this post. Its great to know about you :).
You don't have to wait til 100 to write a book. I can help you with that if you want :).
My dear friend that I have been so out of touch with lately:( What a wonderful post, sparked by @Lori 's post. We have both been undergoing family turmoils, although none that would compare with what Lori has gone through, with such grace and amazing fortitude.
I encourage you Barbara @Late_Bloomers to continue to nurture that inner voice and inner child, and to always mindfully live in the moment. And I will be first in line for that book of yours:) Cheers! Kaarina
Aw Barbara! You responded to the challenge! Isn't it fun! Please go and post this link in the comments of that post so others can find it.
I love how you talk about the outer shell and the inner person! Does it seem sometimes that we don't have the answer to questions we haven't yet asked. Sounds foolish, doesn't it; how could we? But it makes me wonder about how many more questions we could be asking, how much more we could learn!
My favourite part: "I have hundreds of ideas and dreams, some of them are very unrealistic but I want to publish a book before I turn 100."
XOX Hang in there!
@JamesWeaver Thank you, James, much appreciated, not an easy post to write!
@Lucylastica2 Thank you, Lucy, it was an enormous relief at the moment itself. Not so easy to change life long habits but I am working on it. I am spreading myself thin with all the daily tasks (a young dog is great fun but also a lot of work - how we always keep forgetting it when throwing ourselves in a new adventure!) and some things will have to wait. Do you know this feeling when out of common sense you postpone projects and at the same time you hear the clock go tock - tock - tock ...
@JustinMBreedlove Long way to go, Justin, hard to change life long behavioural patterns (do we not all experience this?), thanks so much for your lovely message and wishing you a great weekend.
@blogaks and a very happy day to you, Ashvini! Thank you so much for your lovely message.
I will have to wait till 100 because I do not want to offend any living people and give them cause to litigate!!! I have meant to get in touch with you for the last months re. my website, it is in dire need of renovation, can you tell me where time runs off to?
@tandysinclair Thanks, Tandy, it was like diving off a cliff without thinking too much and it did have some cleansing effect :)
I admire Lori so much for her strength, drive and fortitude, she sets a fine example.
Thanks for your encouragement, you are so right! Oh, my book: you will have to wait some years, right now there is another baby project whining at my feet and asking for my attention .... out for a walk in rain today. But we have been so spoilt with lovely spring weather - no complaints.
I wish you a glorious Easter Weekend with lots of sunshine and new colours sweeping the white away!
@Lori Fun? Ah, Lori, I cannot call it fun yet, it was a challenge meant for me and I wisely chose to take it up! I posted the link in the comment section.
I have just realised that my share button has vanished on my site - what the heck has happened now? Ah well, I will go out now IRL and deal with it later!
@Late_Bloomers Haha :). Time runs off but friends are forever. Litigation is very costly I agree :D.