Feb13
A Confession And Some Changes
Posted by Barbara in Blog
I have not been very active these last weeks, have not posted anything nor read and commented much – my apologies. 2013 has not been very kind to me so far: I lost my job and at my age it is highly unlikely that any prospective employer will receive me open armed!
My biggest worry is Chica though, faithful companion for more than 13 years whose health is failing: she keeps me awake most nights and when she finally falls asleep I am wide awake (probably also due to too much coffee consumption). I walk through my days like a zombie and do little else than broadcasting online.
Infatuated with water early on
Chica is a mixture of 75 % Labrador and 25 % Weimaraner, can you believe nobody wanted her as she was born with a tiny tail? Good luck for us!
She has all the good and bad qualities of each race: she is a vacuum cleaner and dustbin recycler, she loves water and can endlessly retrieve sticks, she climbs nearly vertical walls and gave me quite a fright when she did it the first time and suddenly appeared high above ground and looked down at me.
She has had an ongoing affair with sticks
She has grown into quite some lady
What a poser and in control of everything: this picture was taken in Tuscany
She has grown from a calm puppy into a patient dog, never demanding always grateful. She has been a joy for our family and friends, accompanying us on all our holidays to Southern Tuscany and elsewhere.
The last months have seen us on uncountable visits to the vet, trying to find the right medication for her pains and dementia. But even the vet is not too sure about a diagnosis: is it her heart or is it her messed up brains? We are now on a new pill for her heart (beta blocker) – keep your fingers crossed that it will work. It has been a roller coaster ride: high up when some medication seemed to work and a hell ride when she would incessantly bump into open doors at nights, never stopping panting and having a machine gun heartbeat. And the ever lingering question: am I doing the right thing subjecting her to all those therapies or should I be taking the final decision?
It is not healthy when those issues take upper hand in one’s life and spin a finely woven web in your head and heart.
Being creative (writing, cooking, gardening, crafting) is essential to my wellbeing and life. As Oscar Wilde said: “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.“ And feeling paralyzed for the last three months has been hell and a deadly spinning spiral.
My February resolution: this has to stop and I’d be most grateful for a kick in the butt. Yes, I realize I am the one to deliver the blow.
I will start with some changes to my blog: as you know my first language is German (actually it is Swiss German and we Swiss consider German our second language) and from now on Late Bloomers will be a blog in English and German (different posts in different languages). Bear with me if at the beginning you will receive both versions (you are all subscribed to Late Bloomers, are you not?), with some professional help of Kittie Walker I hope to have it sorted out soon and will introduce different subscription feeds. Unless, of course, you want to improve your German?
Today is Ash Wednesday, for some Lent starts today with 40 days of lean and introspective living.
I have decided to do it the other way round and start living a full life today!
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